What it is to Burn
by Sugar-Hype-Queen
Summary: Like Rei, Mariah knows what it is to burn.Forgive my incompetence regarding story summaries! Umm, a oneshot on Rei's relationship with Mariah. Some KaRe and MariahEmily, 'cause I can.


**Dedicated to Mariah of my soccer team, who's cleates and soccer ball are bright pink, I kid you not. She's cool though. Ah, Mariah-haters are gonna kill me. When I first heard this song, this rabid fic bunny brought me this idea, bit me really hard, and demanded I write something. I think it's helped me battle my, um, 'negative feelings' toward the Rei/Mariah pairing. I figured, hey, ya only live once, I'll give it a shot. Plus, I kinda like the Mariah/Emily pairing, even though it's crack. Hope you enjoy!  
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"What it is to Burn**"**

**-**by Finch

**She burns!  
**

Rei had known that he liked boys for as long as he could remember, and growing up in the remote village in China as he did made that a somewhat horrifying thing. The guilt, the anger and disgust for himself, the utter self-loathing had threatened to overwhelm him. As far as he knew from what most of the villagers had to say on the subject, he should be considered sick. Wrong. The proud smiles and welcome arms of Li's family only served to increase his shame; he felt he was unworthy, like he was deceiving them. Surely they could tell! Any day now, they would find out, and everything would simply be over. Knowing this about himself was like a flame; it devoured him, steadily destroyed him, the smoke isolating him from everyone he knew, leaving him hurting and confused and _alone_.

**Today is on fire.  
The sky is bleeding above me,  
and I am blistered.  
I walk these lines of blasphemy everyday,  
and still...  
**

The day did come when someone found out; it was Li's sister, Mariah. Rei's depression had become unbearable. The pink haired girl had found him curled up in a tree near the field where she was gathering herbs, tears streaming down his face and looking as if he was trying to forget everything existed, including himself. Of course, she had been worried, and inquired what was wrong. At any other time he would have lied, ran away, or refused to answer all together, _anything_ but tell the truth. But at that moment, it was all he could do to half fall off of the thick branch, and let everything flood out, voice hoarse yet unrelenting. He had all but broken down, collapsing on the ground, sobbing miserably. He chocked out his secret, and how he hated seeing his reflection, hated those approving smiles, hated how _horrible_ he was. He had said he was sorry, over and over again, in every sense of the word. Mariah would always remember that, if anything. _I'm sorry, I'm sorry, oh, Buddha, I'm s-so, so sorry! _It took a while before Mariah could bring herself to do anything but stare, shocked.

**Like a bad star,  
I'm falling faster down to her.  
She's the only  
one who knows what it is to burn.**

She had hugged him. After he told her _that, that_ which was so horrible, which should have made her _hate_ him, which made him hate _himself_, she had -hugged- him. Unsurprisingly, he had been utterly bewildered. Wasn't she disgusted? Did she feel sorry for him? He had snapped that he didn't need her pity. Giggling nervously, eyes wide and shinning, she had smiled in a way Rei doubted he ever had. "No, you're like me! It's okay, Rei, it's okay now, y-you're, you're like me!" The look on her face had been so joyful, so full of relief. She had said she was glad because she wasn't alone; she wasn't the only one who was different. Dumbstruck, Rei could only reply, "Oh. You like girls?" She had giggled nervously. "Yeah, but, you don't, now do you?" He had shaken his head sheepishly. This changed everything. He was no longer the only one who knew what it felt like, knew what it was to be like he was, to be different…

**I feel diseased.  
Is there no sympathy  
from the sun?  
The sky is still fire,  
but I am safe in here  
from the world outside.  
So tell me,  
what's the price to pay for glory?  
**

They became a source of support for each other. Each was a reminder to the other that while they were different, they were not alone. Rei and Mariah joked with each other about how the florist girl down the road had _definitely _winked at her, or how Mr. Xin's son did never smiled that widely to anyone but Rei. In their moments of doubt, they could both find solace in the knowledge that they had a friend to confide in, or when needed, a shoulder to cry on. Most of all, though, someone to be honest with. This gave Rei strength, and courage. It got to the point where he was no longer burdened with the miserable feelings he had felt before, and wanted to see the world and learn new things, regardless of the approval of the village. Sure, their friendship supported him, but he wanted to know what it was like to go places where he didn't feel diseased, and see things he had never seen before.

To say Mariah was upset would be an understatement. She told Rei how she felt betrayed, felt isolated again, because though they were her friends and family,_ they_ _did not understand. _ Rei had tried to explain that he had no intentions of betraying her, and that he was just doing what was best for him. She understood, she always did. But she didn't want to forgive him. She told herself it was because he wouldn't be there anymore to forgive. But Rei had made his choice.

**  
Like a bad star,  
I'm falling faster down to her.  
She's the only  
one who knows what it is to burn.  
**

When Mariah saw Rei with the Bladebreakers, saw him confident and comfortable and _happy_, she knew it was useless to try and hold her grudge. In all honesty, she felt guilty for bearing one in the first place, and jealous that he was strong enough not to need the approval of the village and her family while she still clung to it. Later, after their match against each other, they had talked and she learned that she wasn't the only one feeling guilty, or jealous. Rei confessed he felt guilty about leaving, as he owed the village, Li's family especially, so much, and jealous that she still had their support.

After that, they kept in touch, via e-mail and the occasional post card. If only Mariah would stop teasing him about the tension between him and Kai, it would've been perfect. However, the pink haired girl was soon obliged to stop when Rei learned about her crush on Emily, the freckled know-it-all from Max's old team and began to make sly remarks. "At least I have good taste; Kai doesn't have such a large fan base for nothing, you know."

"Good taste? I didn't realize silent and brooding, and snotty was so attractive!"

"Oh, and someone with an IQ of a thousand who shoves it into your face every second is really that appealing?"

"Don't be jealous 'cause you're slow, Rei!"

"Hey, I resent that! I'm not the one who almost stuck a fork in a toaster!"

"…That was low, Rei. That was low."

**  
Today is fire,  
and she burns.  
Today is fire,  
and she burns...**

A few years later, Mariah called at about eleven o'clock at night, borderline hysterical. Kai had answered. Let's just say they were both thoroughly awake by the time Rei got the phone. "She _proposed, _Rei-Rei! Sheproposedsheproposedshe_proposed_-"

"Mariah! Calm down! 'S like, eleven at ni- Wai', wha? She _what_? Uh-huh… Did you say yes? No way, seriously? Congratulations! I'm proud of you, spaz! She's insane, you're insane, perfect match!" He had somehow felt her frosty glare over the phone.

Emily insisted on a wedding. The Bladebreakers, a few other 'bladers, and the couples' friends had shown up, as well as Li, to Rei's surprise. Upon seeing him, Li had smiled awkwardly. "You all right with this, Li?" Rei had inquired. "Um, I…I-I don't know, Rei." He shrugged. "But that's my baby sister, and I'm happy for her, you know?" Rei had simply smiled.

******She burns!  
She burns!  
She burns!  
She burns!  
She burns!  
She burns...  
**

Kai acted oddly after that. Concerned, Rei had finally asked, very bluntly, what was wrong. Usually this would've gotten him nothing but a _look _(Oh, how Rei despised the _look_), but this time Kai answered with a simple, gleaming silver ring and a fearful, nervous look that was so cute that Rei had to swallow a laugh. He had settled for a smile that just about took Kai's breath away. "You don't even have to ask, koi."

Mariah had merely looked smug when he told her. "Like this was such a surprise. You two are already joined at the waist; I don't see what the big deal is. Ah! The pout of doom! Come on, I was joking, you know I'm happy for you!"

******  
Like a bad star,  
I'm falling faster down to her.  
She's the only  
one who knows what it is to burn. **

Rei and Mariah both knew they were different. Their friendship, however, made them realize that it wasn't such a bad thing.

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******Cannot freakin' believe I did that. Please let me know what you think. Comments and advice are cherished! So review, esteemed reader, review!**


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